21st century
| Entries Links Archives |
|
|
Profile
The way your touch takes my breath away,
| daily runaways
azy arziyana.abigail. afina. ai jia. amanda. asfa. ashy. ani.
bettina.
daniel.
ernest.
haniz.
ibnur aliff.
jaslyn.
katherine.
laila humairah.
rafidah.
shahira.
| August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 April 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009
| Monday, December 21, 2009
CIBTC is really officially over.I am not as happy as I should be. Question is, WHY? I am really a terrible person. I feel like I am worth nothing to the world. I really don't. Perhaps my only reason for existing is so that people can learn from my mistakes. Is there even a reason? I am not in the right state of mind. Everything is coming together all over again. There's a limit to my strength, patience. I am punctured. I ache from all this pain I brought upon myself. I wonder how I could've have been this stupid. I am more than disappointed. I need a serious time out from everything. I AM NOT OKAY. Labels: Pandemonium. Saturday, December 12, 2009
NRC is officially over.Review, I am disappointed. Bravo squad was back today but I am disappointed because we wasted days, not performing. Quite disappointed because although we've learnt so much, we still have lots more to learn. Review, I am elated. Bravo squad has helped me pull through this. The CIIs (not all) have given the courage to some of us (includes me). Overall, NRC is over, but CIBTC isn't. CIBTC ATC is really a beginning of a new chapter, the first step to apply our knowledge. My objective, to fully utilise this knowledge I possess. It won't be easy but thank God, for ATC group 2 which I think and feel to be very co-operative and just great. I have to admit, I am born lucky. I got into Bravo squad as well as ATC group 2, what more can I ask for? To Bravo squad. Like I mentioned just now, "Earn your respect not through fear, but because they think and feel that you deserve the respect." Thanks so much for all the mistakes we've all made together. It only made me and the rest of us stronger individuals. If Bravo wasn't Bravo, I wouldn't know where I stand in this course. We will stay in touch and help each other out even after CIBTC. If not; "Above, beyond, as one! Bravo!" No matter how long I take, I know you'd always be there when I return. You're the best<3 Sunday, December 06, 2009
"Bravo; Above, beyond as one."A tribute to Soon Keng, the one that earned respect because he deserved it. CIBTC was unbearable for the first 3 days but now, NRC (Non-Residential Camp) 1 is over and time really flies. I am starting to get the momentum and feel that I want to be here because I love the company. Thank goodness for this awesome batch, d'09. If it wasn't for them, I would have gone OOC. (Out of Course) Bravo has definitely bonded and we have to stay strong even until after 19th December cos that's when everything truly begins. CIBTC, challenging your limits, your strengths, your reactions, your thinking skills. Really I have learnt a lot from this course. "If you are out of your comfort zone, you are learning." I think that's true. And you will only get out of your comfort zone when you have put in effort. I suddenly thought of flagstaff must be cos of just now. Oh today, we reached Camp Resilience at 9.05am(?) and we started lessons. Flagstaff twice, tentage and orienteering. I am extremely exhausted. Bravo please take care of your health. D'09 honestly, you guys are potential-ed. Let's not get OOC and continue this journey together. 2 weeks left to end of CIBTC. Funny how I actually feel rather dissapointed it'll end. And I need to see you everyday. Cos everyday your absence makes my heart grows fonder. Labels: Let's not fall sick. Sunday, November 29, 2009
I am weak. Frigging weak.Tomorrow is the start of hell. I mean it, in no joking manner. I might as well be the person with the lowest self-esteem in this batch. I don't see myself surviving. I should just be a drop out. No it's not easy at all. (See I am crying again) I don't give a damn if I don't make it. At the end of the day, it is just a CCA. You don't have to do this.. But I do. Where's my PICARD? I never had it in the first place, so I didnt lose it. Why am I talking so cliche like? See, yesterday I saw mute people on the train communicating in sign language. And then I thought, "Why the hell won't those people talk to people nicely? Like with respect?" Perfect example of taking advantage of what they have. They're not really angry when they shout at us most of the time, they think that's the right thing to do. I wished they'd go mute, either that, or I'll be deaf. Just for this moment. I'm sorry you, but I really don't think I can do this. Labels: You guys are just a bunch of bullies. Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Bintan pretty much wasnt what we all expected at first but it went by really quickly but tiring-ly (in a good way) Photos in Zimah's and Mr Chan's camera. I am still not satisfied with the fact that I didnt manage to catch an octopus. Grrrrrrrr.. Oh well, a lot of impacts were made. Especially when we visited Kelong Island or Fisherman's Island where the community spirit there truly overwhelms your soul. However unreal it seems to me at that time, I came to realise how fortunate we all truly are. To think that kind of place exists only a few kilometres away from Singapore. Imagine no computers, improper sanitation, no air conditioners, hardly any roads at all and kids riding a motorcycle at the age of what, 8? Alright not gonna say much here. Zimah's coming over to my place in 3 hours time! Oh did I mention tonight's prom? Labels: I want a new guitar. Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Bowling and pool can be very interesting.Thanks guys. However right now, I don't look forward to things. I look forward to the end of things. The 5 objectives of this year's CIBTC, Punctuality, Initiative, Commitment, Attitude, Responsibility and Discipline. All of which I do not have. So how? Get out of the course la, what else. I wish... No, it is not easy to put your heart into things you dont want to do. And no, the quote "You have to do what you don't want to do, to do what you want to do." does not apply to me cos perhaps, I don't even wanna achieve that ulterior motive. Regimental way of living. Maybe mom and bro were right, I was just wasting my time, no my life. Just let it waste away. Currently in the mood for multiple whackings in my head. I'm sure everyone who read this would wanna volunteer to be the whacker right? Labels: No use crying. Wednesday, November 11, 2009
If you could see, that I feel to be the cause of your disturbance.Though unfailingly, you let me confide perfectly. Shrunken space, infinitely spacious. Never sick, never tired, only revived. Like that refulgent star, it beckons your fantasies with its twinkle. My fantasies exist as long as you do. Hear the waves? They're crashing but they calm, both you and me. Labels: Soaking every last breath of it; you. |